PROM PREP

Going to the Prom? Want to increase your comfort level during all of the activities involved? Sign up for this fun and interactive program that will walk you through the things that can cause stress and insecurity. (It is not essential to be going to Prom to participate)

Join etiquette expert, Karen Hickman as she presents the essentials in courtesy for Prom time. Things to be covered include:

Who asks for the date?

Who goes? Who pays?

Prom attire.

Flowers/Boutonnières

Meeting the Parents/Photo session

Etiquette Essentials (handshaking, eye contact, introductions, when to stand and more)

Etiquette of Public Places

Texting and Cell Phone Etiquette

Dining Etiquette and a Tutorial Meal

WHEN: Saturday, March 6, 2010, 10:00 am-2:00 pm

WHERE: Blu Tomato Restaurant, Ft. Wayne, IN.

COST: $99.00

FEE INCLUDES: A three-course luncheon with beverage and a workbook to take home

Sign up soon to reserve your place. Seating is limited.

Second family member may join for $79.00

For more information call: 260/486-7758 or e-mail Karen.Hickman@comcast.net or Karen.Hickman@professionalcourtesyllc.com

For every 10 students coming from the same school, Professional Courtesy will donate $100.00 to your school’s fundraising endeavors.

There will be a drawing for gift certificates that can be used toward Prom preparation

For information on Karen Hickman and Professional Courtesy, please visit www.professionalcourtesyllc.com

APPLICATION FOR PROM PREP

Payment required to secure your reservation

No refunds after Tuesday, March 2, 2010

There will be a $10.00 cancellation fee prior to March 2, 2010

Minimum of 10 students required to hold class, encourage your friends to join in.)

Name_____________________________________________

Address___________________________________________

Phone Number_____________________________________

Cell_______________________________________________

E-mail_____________________________________________

Age_______________________________________________

School_____________________________________________

Dietary Restrictions__________________________________

Dress: School attire requested.

Registration: 9:30-10:00

Class will start promptly @ 10:00 am. Please allow for travel time and weather challenges.

Agenda and more details will be sent after you have signed up for the class.

Payment via PayPal/Chg.

Fax completed form to:

260/486-7758

or

Mail to:

Karen Hickman

8609 Encanto Way

Ft. Wayne, IN 46815

A Conversation with Megan Meadors, Miss Indiana 2008

I had the pleasure of meeting Megan Meadors a few years ago when she was preparing to compete in the Miss Indiana Pageant. Megan and her mother engaged me for some one on one instruction in etiquette and protocol. Megan was already very savvy in this area and we merely tweaked some things that she was not sure of. It was a special treat to work with this engaged, focused and bright young woman. I had no doubt that she would be successful in any of her life endeavors. This young woman is certainly much more than a “pretty face”; a myth that is often perpetuated about pageant participants.

Megan has graciously agreed to respond to my questions and as you will see, this is a woman of substance. Thanks, Megan.

Tell us a little about yourself…

I’m a 24 year old Graduate of the University of Indianapolis with a Master’s Degree in Occupational Therapy. I practice occupational therapy at a senior community in a suburb of Indianapolis. I was Miss Indiana 2008 in the Miss America system. I love being around people, trying food from different cultures, and the Indianapolis Colts!

Megan, please tell us how you became interested in participating in pageants and at what age did you start participating?

I became interested in pageants the summer before my senior year of high school when I was 16. During this summer I competed in the Miss Auburn pageant for the chance to represent my hometown in our county fair pageant. I was very active in cheerleading and show choir in high school and most of my friends from these activities were competing in Miss Auburn so I thought it would be a fun thing to try.

What are the greatest misconceptions about pageants?

I think there are many misconceptions about pageants and the girls that compete in them. First off we do get along very well. I was in three of my fellow competitors weddings and they will be in mine one day. Second we are very intelligent. We have to be to be successful. The interview portion of the competition accounts for a large portion of your score and you have to show that you are articulate and voice your opinions in an educated manner. Third we are not conceded and self-centered. Every girl competing has a community service platform we believe in, volunteer for, and raise money for. That was my favorite part of being Miss Indiana…volunteering at events all over the state.

What have been the greatest benefits for you?

When you are Miss Indiana you are thrust in every kind of situation. Sometimes the organizers of event would throw you into situations you would not expect but you would have to “roll with it”. I feel now that I can handle myself in any situation and have the confidence in myself to step up and take risks in my life to benefit me in my career and personal life.

What skills do you think have been essential to succeed in pageants and in other aspects of your life?

Confidence, a good work ethic, interpersonal communication skills, public speaking skills, and a strong sense of self.

How have you transferred these skills into your personal and professional life?

I really don’t think these skills were ever “transferred.” They became a part of who I am and that is what is so great about competing in the Miss America system…you grow into your best self!

As an Occupational Therapist, what do you take from the world of being Miss Indiana into the health care world?

All of the skills listed above have helped me to be able to build strong relationships with my patients and their families. I believe having rapport with a patient is one of the most important aspects of the rehabilitation process. When patients trust you they will follow the steps you recommend to reach their maximal level of independence. These skills also benefit me when interacting with my co-workers, doctors, and patient’s families.

What advice would you give teens and young women interested in entering the world of pageant competition?

First I would say know who you are, what you believe in, and what you want to accomplish as a titleholder before competing. That self-confidence will help you to go far not only in pageantry but in life. Also if you truly want to be Miss ______ don’t ever give up on your dream. I competed at Miss Indiana 5 times before I reached my goal and if I would have given up I would never be who I am today.

What does the future look like for you?

For the first time in my life I really don’t know and it’s actually so exciting. For such a long time my goal and focus was becoming Miss Indiana and my life revolved around reaching that goal. After I gave up my crown I felt so free and that I had a whole world of opportunities in front of me. I plan to continue to be involved in the Miss America Organization as a consultant, director, or state board member. I am continuing to make appearances as a former Miss Indiana speaking about my platform of Alzheimer’s Awareness and to young children about reaching their goals. In the distant future I see myself happily married with a family.

Thanks, Megan…I welcome comments and remarks regarding the world of pageants. If you have been a part of this system, I’d love to hear from you too.

Respectful Care of the Elder Patient

In the past month I have had the opportunity to accompany my parents to physician appointments and be part of their health updates. Even though, I was invited into the room by them, I was in no way in charge. My parents are very capable of making their own decisions, but appreciate having one of their daughters present as moral support. And in the event that we will have to be part of their decision making process we will be apprised of their health status.

At one appointment, as the physician entered the room he greeted my parents first and directed all of his remarks to them. I was so appreciative of that courtesy. The fact that my parents are getting older does not mean they should be slighted in any way and be treated in a patronizing manner.

That was not the case when I was helping with another family member out of state a few weeks ago. I drove and accompanied my family member to see her husband in a Rehab facility during my week long stay and helped with the process of transitioning both of them to an assisted living facility. During this time I found people directing the conversations to me and essentially ignoring my family members. At one point my in-law scolded the nurse and said, "you look at me...I am the one who will be living here, not her." I thought that the nurse deserved that rebuke and hopefully she will change her approach when dealing with older patients and their families.

Treating patients of all ages with respect is important, but it is especially important when dealing with older people. At a time when many of the changes in their lives are beyond their control, genuine respect can help make them feel valued and a part of the decision making. Even if there are memory issues with older people, that is not a good enough reason to ignore them or treat them in a condescending way.

Here are some tips for all health care workers in dealing with older patients:

• Refrain from calling them "honey"or "dear" or other patronizing terms... it's insulting.
• Address patients formally...Mr., Mrs., Ms. until you have been invited to call them by their first name.
• Make direct eye contact with the patient when speaking to them.
• Be careful not to speak too loudly that everyone within a mile can hear you.
• Maintain personal privacy, as much as possible, when doing procedures or assisting with personal care.

Remember, this older person had a life before their illness and was a contributing member of society in their job, as a spouse, parent and grandparent...that should always be honored.

Dale Carnegie Training Engaging Ideas Newsletter

Dale Carnegie Training Engaging Ideas Newsletter

Thank you to Chris Sanderson, Ft. Wayne's Dale Carnegie Trainer for sharing the Dale Carnegie newsletter on my Blog. As always, the ideas of Dale Carnegie are timeless and powerful.

Age, Rank, Respect

While out for dinner recently with friends, our young (young enough to be my son) male waiter addressed me as "darlin", in what I perceived to be, a patronizing tone. To say the least, I was offended and felt he was very inappropriate and poorly trained... at home and at work.

I often hear these patronizing terms used to address older people (older than I) by health care workers and people working in the service industry. I suspect it is an attempt to be endearing toward seniors, but I think it has the opposite effect. Just because your hair has gone grey, does not mean you deserve less respect. In fact, quite the contrary. Save those terms of endearment for your children, spouses or the significant others in your life.

Our world today, is much less formal than in years past. However, that does not mean that we abandon all rules of propriety. There are still times that it is appropriate to err on the side of formality. In fact, when in doubt, do just that.

The old maxim, "age and rank has its privileges" can be your guide. Even though, we call most of our contemporaries and co workers by their first names, there are times when we should address someone in a formal fashion using an "honorific"...Ms., Mr., etc. Doing this with high ranking individuals and elder people shows respect. If they want you to call them by their first name they will invite you to do so.

Teaching your children to call adults by their last names using the appropriate "honorific", teaches them respect for authority and demonstrates that they were well trained at home. Growing old enough to call adults by their first name is a right of passage and that right should be earned.

I welcome your thoughts on this issue...

The book; "Honor & Respect... The Official Guide to Names, Titles, & Forms of Address" by Robert Hickey is a great reference book to have in any library.

EXCUSE ME, WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?

Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by a rude question or remark? It seems most people have and those people have a great deal to say about those questions.

Recently, I partnered with friend and fellow protocol consultant, Suzanne Nourse, founder and owner of The Protocol School of Ottawa to put a survey together to find out what people felt were the rudest questions they had ever been asked. The survey was separated into categories to include venues like, dating, marriage, illness, death, money, being childless, adoption and more. The responses ranged from short and sweet to rants and raves.

We learned that pregnant women do not appreciate having their "tummy's" touched by strangers. And asking a "newly" widowed person if they thought they would remarry is often felt to be a huge insult to the memory of their spouse.

Some questions should never be asked like, "how much money do you make?" or "why don't you have any children?" Those very personal subjects are not the business of strangers or mere acquaintances and should be off limits unless you are very good friends. And even then, some of those questions are inappropriate.

If you are at a loss for words when asked some of these questions you might want to read Peggy Post's book, "Excuse Me, But I Was Next" or Dr. P.M. Forni's book, "The Civility Solution" to learn some clever and civilized ways to deal with rude people. Both books would be a valuable addition to any library.

Want to share your experience with rude inquisitors? Comment here. And to fill out the entire survey, email Suzanne Nourse at snourse@etiquetteottawa.com or me, Karen Hickman at karen.hickman@comcast.net and we will send you the survey.

Remember, diplomacy is an art. If in doubt about asking a question...don't ask.

"To shake or not to shake;" that is the question. Now that we are into flu season it is important to be aware of how we transmit germs. And shaking hands is one of those ways. Refusing to shake hands can put you at risk for being perceived as an ungracious person. However, if you are acutely ill with something, those around you will thank you for not extending your hand. Offering a short explanation that you do not want to spread your germs will help let others know you have their best interest at heart. After all, that is the basis for good manners; consideration for others.

This is also the time to increase hand washing and the use of hand sanitizers. There are many on the market and they can be carried in a purse or pocket. Remembering to sneeze and cough into your elbow and not your hands can also help prevent the spread of unwanted germs. And if you are very sick...stay home!