EXCUSE ME, WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?

Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by a rude question or remark? It seems most people have and those people have a great deal to say about those questions.

Recently, I partnered with friend and fellow protocol consultant, Suzanne Nourse, founder and owner of The Protocol School of Ottawa to put a survey together to find out what people felt were the rudest questions they had ever been asked. The survey was separated into categories to include venues like, dating, marriage, illness, death, money, being childless, adoption and more. The responses ranged from short and sweet to rants and raves.

We learned that pregnant women do not appreciate having their "tummy's" touched by strangers. And asking a "newly" widowed person if they thought they would remarry is often felt to be a huge insult to the memory of their spouse.

Some questions should never be asked like, "how much money do you make?" or "why don't you have any children?" Those very personal subjects are not the business of strangers or mere acquaintances and should be off limits unless you are very good friends. And even then, some of those questions are inappropriate.

If you are at a loss for words when asked some of these questions you might want to read Peggy Post's book, "Excuse Me, But I Was Next" or Dr. P.M. Forni's book, "The Civility Solution" to learn some clever and civilized ways to deal with rude people. Both books would be a valuable addition to any library.

Want to share your experience with rude inquisitors? Comment here. And to fill out the entire survey, email Suzanne Nourse at snourse@etiquetteottawa.com or me, Karen Hickman at karen.hickman@comcast.net and we will send you the survey.

Remember, diplomacy is an art. If in doubt about asking a question...don't ask.

"To shake or not to shake;" that is the question. Now that we are into flu season it is important to be aware of how we transmit germs. And shaking hands is one of those ways. Refusing to shake hands can put you at risk for being perceived as an ungracious person. However, if you are acutely ill with something, those around you will thank you for not extending your hand. Offering a short explanation that you do not want to spread your germs will help let others know you have their best interest at heart. After all, that is the basis for good manners; consideration for others.

This is also the time to increase hand washing and the use of hand sanitizers. There are many on the market and they can be carried in a purse or pocket. Remembering to sneeze and cough into your elbow and not your hands can also help prevent the spread of unwanted germs. And if you are very sick...stay home!

Essentials for Health Care

Checking the pulse of contemporary medical practices with 

Karen Hickman, Etiquette and Protocol Consultant

 
It is no doubt the technical training of a physician or dentist is of utmost importance in his or her practice. The expertise of a knowledgeable professional allows for trust and loyalty from patients. And yet, many patients don't develop that trust and loyalty, no matter how skilled the medical and dental care, because of the unprofessional treatment they've encountered on the way to the examination room. 
 
Too often, as practices continue to grow larger, compassion in medicine and dentistry is forfeited through lengthy holds when scheduling appointments, an unprofessional air in the office, impersonal first impressions, and overall insensitive actions from the office staff. And this has a measurable effect on patient relations: research show us that up to one-third of malpractice suits stem from bad behavior on the part of the doctor or staff. 
 
As a former nurse and longtime member of the Fort Wayne (Indiana) Medical Society-Alliance, I understand health care. And as a trained expert in etiquette and protocol, I understand the importance of professional courtesy. Marrying my experiences in medicine and etiquette, I'm able to effectively address the growing perception of unprofessional medical and dental practices and then provide teams the tools they need to create a distinguished and caring practice. 
 
Recently, I was able to partner with the Fort Wayne Medical Society-Alliance to provide the Fort Wayne Medical Society with what the Alliance titled "Compassion in Medicine," a researched-based educational seminar and comprehensive training program. I had the opportunity to enlighten over 200 office staff, receptionists, administrators, nurses, clinicians, and office managers with my Professional Courtesy Essentials program. The staff members learned how to professionally apply communication skills, conflict management, technology etiquette, and the development of a positive cultural philosophy while participating in role-play scenarios to better understand and relate to the patients. Further, the Alliance used the seminar as a fundraiser and contributed $15,000 to community charities related to health care and health education.  
 
The partnership between my Professional Courtesy Essentials program, the medical society, and the alliance created the opportunity to meet the goals of continuing education; excellence in health care; and care for patients, their families, and the community. I would be delighted to share this valuable and important message with you and your alliance and community, while educating and encouraging what I am sure is already excellent medical and dental care from your local medical or dental association. Please feel free to contact me for more information about the program and the opportunity to increase the professionalism in medicine and patient satisfaction. 

Sincerely, 

Karen Hickman